Double Digits...What?!

My affectionate, honest, and fun first-born turned 10 a little over a month ago. I think that out of the milestones we have come to, this one has been the most difficult for me. We are starting on the next chapter of parenting. The next set of years are going to be ones more challenging on us to teach what is right and to provide the skills to handle situations on his own. Leaving the early childhood years behind (for at least one of our kids) is not going to be easy.  I am so thankful for the wonderful memories we have and for building a strong bond with my lovable son. I am so proud of Colin.

I am in utter shock that we are at this point. The last 10 years have gone by in a blink. Literally feels like I closed my eyes and when I opened them he is talking about coding and relationships. It seems like he went from this small bundle in my arms to this kid asking about girls in a fleeting moment. I feel ill-prepared for this next phase of Colin's childhood.

It has really put in perspective how much we need to hold onto these moments even more. I am loving every hand hold, hug, kiss, question, and reading time. These are the memories that I will miss. I know there will be a day that Colin will not want to hold my hand. Or will tell me that he would rather just read to himself at night.

I am so grateful that one of his love languages is time spent. Hopefully, he will need that from me for a long, long time.

I am so thankful for a son who has made being a mother so easy. I love his sense of justice, his genuine goodness, and that child-like wonder that makes him so kind and curious.


                                                                   ~ Love, Hugs & Kisses ~
                                                                               The B Family

Charlie Helps Out

Originally, we had planned to go away for the last weekend of summer (Memorial weekend)- but with all of the smoke from the surrounding fires, we decided to stay in the house for most of the time. The air quality was getting so bad that we were trying to minimize the outdoor excursions for Charlie and the kids.  

I loved having a weekend of no plans. We took our time on breakfast. The whole family got involved. Colin and Meli (Charlie & Will) all helped with the buttermilk biscuits. Poor Charlie was covered in flour by the end of it. 

I love these moments. It can be easy to forget how much fun it can be to do simple things. Kneading dough, is a blast for kids and a wonderful sensory activity. For Colin's age, (and even Meli's) to start looking at measurements and fractions. I loved as a kid learning the basics of cooking. 

Sorry Baby Girl...Mom's Hair is Curly

Opposites

Meli and I are a great example of opposites when it comes to physical features. She has blonde hair and I have super dark brown (almost black, but totally not black). She has super straight hair and I have super curly hair. She also has porcelain skin. I am not as tan as I used to be, having what I call my "Oregon tan" (basically meaning I am pale). I guess that is really the only three things, but it is enough for people to not pick her as my daughter.  There have been a few times, when I took one of her friends to the store with us or other public places and people always think the darker hair ones are mine. Not Meli.

I straighten my hair every once in a while. Usually when I get my hair cut. This last time, Meli asked me if I could put it back to straight after I had washed it. Not necessarily because she does not like it, but she wants us to look the same. She wants to have dark hair and for me to have straight hair. At least she did not pick for me to be a blonde. I do not think that look would work. At all.

It got me to thinking about how as a kid, I always wanted straight hair. I would have given anything to have straight hair like the other girls. Especially in Jr. High. I wanted to fit in by looking like everyone else. It is funny how we think when we are younger. I thought my hair was too different. Not that anyone ever said anything to make me think that. Usually it was compliments. As shy as I was though, I did not really enjoy the attention it would bring. Another contributor was probably all of the magazines that had girls with straight hair or the hair books in the salons that had mostly straight hair styles. When I was going for a haircut, I would always point to the super short, super straight hairdos. My mom would always have to break the news that my hair would not do that. I thought I always had to have the same hair style to work with my hair. Took my 30 years, but now I know that you can do different styles! I love my A-line. Although, that will probably go away soon, since I made a deal with Will and am growing it back out. He liked my hair cut, but he is definitely a long hair type of guy. I am sure I will chop it off again in a few years.

I think I was about 21 to 23 when I realized that I loved my hair! It was nice having something that made me different. Lots of people have wavy hair but probably quite a bit fewer with curly, curly hair. Or as Meli calls it "crazy hair".  Rather than when I was a teenager, I can now appreciate what makes us different.

Around 21.

I also realized that my hair works best for my personality. I need something that is not high maintenance, because I just do not do that. I need minimal time to get ready. I am not someone who will spend hours getting ready. I am irritated  if it takes me more than 30 minutes. My hair gives me the freedom not to wash it very often. I hate having wet hair and I do not blow dry...so once a week - hell yeah! (Caveat - I do shower daily). If my workout makes me sweat too much then this will not work as well.  Too much sweat = Frizz galore.

I do miss long hair

I was telling a friend that you can tell what day from my last wash I am by my hair style! Unless it has been raining a lot. Rain and curls - oh my! I will have to try and take pictures of the different stages.

There are some things I would change. I hate frizz, but that is just a necessary evil that is fixable. I know when it rains, I will not be having a great hair day...but I love rain - so I am OK with that. Sloppy bun day or a cute braid will do. It also takes me longer to get to the length I want. My hair grows super fast, but it also gets curlier the longer it is. It amazes me to straighten my hair and see how long it really is. 

Poor Meli. I am sure when she is older, she will learn to appreciate our differences. She also could eventually turn curly. When her hair is wet, she definitely has some texture to it. Unlike Colin's, whose is just straight when wet.

Maybe curls in her future

                                                         ~ Love, Hugs & Kisses ~
                                                                        The B Family

Wardrobe Expression

She loves accessories

And my socks

Something that I never thought I would get complimented for as often as I do, is letting Meli wear the outfits she wants. I have had several people (young and old) say “good for you, letting her express herself” or something close to that. At first, I thought maybe it was a way to tease me.  I was not sure if it was kind of related to a “bless your heart” kind of thing. Where it sounds like a compliment, but it really is not.  Like “Oh my, you really let her wear that”... Now, I think it really is a compliment. 

Meli is definitely allowed to show her personality through her daily clothes (and more recently hair) choices. I do not want her to feel that she has to fit into a certain box made up for her. I may not agree with her combinations at times (I do despise red and pink together), but it is what she chooses to put out there and show the world – “this is me”. I wish I would have done that more as a child. I loved bright and a little more out there outfits, but I was so shy that I did not like standing out. My mom would have let me wear what I wanted to, but I learned (somehow) pretty early that I did not want to get attention for standing out.

She asked me to do her hair this way

Now, the only time I use the mommy card for controlling an outfit is on holidays. I still let her pick, but I do make them match a bit more. Mostly, for the sake of my family pictures. If I can get Will to cooperate.

This is Meli on Easter, she wanted to have a polka dot shirt underneath the dress, which I did veto. I did let her wear her little cowgirl boots. I think she did love her outfit even if it was a little more “put together”. She loves long dresses right now. 

                                               ~ Love, Hugs & Kisses ~
                                                       The B Family

Goodbye Mr. Cowley

“Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.”

- Emory Austin

Yesterday, I drove to my hometown to say goodbye and celebrate a life of a very special person. It was surreal sitting in a multipurpose that I have not been in probably 16 years or so. To revisit a very exciting and important time in my life and at the same time saying goodbye to a person that was very prominent in that period. I was fortunate to know him by different names; 1) Coach Cowley - my 7th grade basketball coach, 2) Mr. Cowley - my art teacher for 3 years, and 3) Dan - a family friend.

Dan was a great person, teacher, and coach. A person who showed a passion for creating, compassion for teaching and coaching, and joy for life. It was evident in life and in the pictures shown at the Celebration of Life that he had a great relationship with his son and  so much love for his wife. People say pictures can be deceiving but not when the joy is so obvious. True joy is hard to fake.

Someone mentioned this yesterday and truly hit it on point. He did not treat us as kids, but as people. This is a very important thing during the teenage years. Mr. Cowley would give my younger brother and I a ride to school during my 9th grade year... He knew me during some of my moodiest years and he was always full of patience. He would offer a laugh when that was what I needed and an ear when I really just needed to be heard.

It is sad that it took his passing to remind me of all the things he taught me during those formidable years. Even so, it was a very much needed reminder. It is amazing how much one person can teach you if you are just willing to pay attention and be open to learning.

After the celebration, I was able to catch up with some of my other favorite teachers from Jr. High. I was amazed how much some had changed and how a few who looked exactly the same. I noticed that if I were to name my favorite teachers there (Mr. Cowley included) they all had similar traits and outlook on life. They were kind, easy-going, and funny. They took learning and life seriously but not so seriously that they did not enjoy it. Their humor and joy was infectious.

I am very glad to have know Dan, to witness his love for his wife and son, and to have the memories of a great coach and art teacher. To have the privileged of being one of his students who heard on several occasions "Add more detail" to my drawing or painting, and one of his athletes who had to run lines for talking too much during practice learning the importance of focus. Along with the important lessons and instructions, I remember the laughs and the high fives after a great shot or play.
Goodbye Coach. Go red!


"Make every Day your Masterpiece" - Dan Cowley

“Life is a first impression. You get one shot at it. Make it everlasting.” 
― J.R. Rim

"Live Simply. Dream Big. Be Grateful. Give Love. Laugh Lots. - unknown.


~ Love, Hugs &; Kisses ~ The B Family

Proud Mama Moment

While I was away on a kid-free weekend, my son accomplished something that he has been too nervous to really try - he learned to ride his bike without training wheels!!! Colin has always been a very logical, common sense kind of kid - which made him a little more timid when it came to swings, slides, bikes, etc. He was always aware that there was danger involved (Meli is the complete opposite). Last summer he was ready to take the training wheels off, but once we did he had no interest in getting back on the bike. I would try to convince him that it was safe and we would not let go until he was ready...but he would have none of it. It did amaze me the few times he did try how much effort it took on our end to keep him straight up. That kid would be leaning over so far. He even made me nervous.

About 4 months ago, he learned how to ride his scooter. To me, that seems a lot harder than a bike. Then for some reason, once I leave for a weekend he decides to try his bike...and does it!!! As much as I hate to have missed that awesome life moment, I am so happy that he has accomplished something that he saw as such a hard thing to learn. He is just growing up too fast.

                                               ~ Love, Hugs & Kisses ~
                                                        The B Family

A Wonderful Soul

The kids' drawing

Yesterday evening was the first time I had to tell my kids (Meli did not quite understand) that someone they knew had passed away. Our family has lost some dear family members (Will’s Uncle Ed and my Aunt Kathleen) since the kids have been born; but they were either too young or had not met the person to truly understand what that means. It makes a difference (when that young) to explain that someone they had seen fairly often will no longer be there.

When we first moved back to Oregon, we were staying in Cottage Grove with my dad until we figured out where to next. While we were there, I was told about a program (resource center) that helps families figure out all things "children" in the area. They also had a place where kids could come and play while the parents visited. This place, APC, really was a life changer for me. It introduced me to three very, very special ladies (who work there) and connected me with some fabulous families in the CG area. Most of the people that I met in Cottage Grove were from that one location. I am so grateful for my time there!

One of the ladies, Ms. Peggy, was so helpful with any questions I had about the kids and the stages they were in. She truly was a wonderful instructor, person, and friend. She dedicated her life to children and supporting families. My kids adored her!!! They thought it was awesome that she had white hair with a dyed purple streak (it was pretty cool). Whenever we were in the area, the kids would ask to go visit Ms. Peggy, Ms. Lesly, and Ms.Ana Maria.

I found out a little later that Peggy was and had been battling cancer for several years. You would have never known from her attitude and patience with the kids. She would come back from a chemo session and be so happy to see the kiddos. The last time I saw her when visiting, I could really see a difference in her physical appearance and energy. That was around Christmas time. Now she has gone on to the next part of her journey. I am so sad to say goodbye, but I know that her suffering is no more and she can find peace.

Colin was very sad to hear about her dying. He did say that we needed to say a prayer for her family and friends. He also thinks that she is able to watch us now from heaven and is happy.

Peggy –

My prayer...is that you know how very loved you are. I pray that our goodbyes and tears reach up to you. A little community was so blessed to have been a part of your journey. You will be forever missed. Thank you for your patience, guidance, and love for our children.

Here is a link to her cancer story that she shared.